Monday, April 28, 2008

Anonymous comments to my Nikki's birthday post..

Good evening Gals.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving such caring comments
about Nikki's birthday for me.
How kind (most) of you have been!
Today was a mix of emotions for me.
Sadness upon visiting Nikki's grave,
happiness having lunch with one of my Daughters
and upset over the comment "anonymous" (who is not anonymous to me) left today.
Please read them below..
Even though "anonymous" may have had good intentions,
her 2nd comment has upset me.
To "anonymous"... if the passing of my precious Daughter brings sadness to you can you possibly imagine what her passing brings to me?
I need to move on....... you say?
Well "anonymous" that's so very easy for you to say..
Wonder if "anonymous" will now delete her comments after this post?
"Anonymous" I think you need our prayers....
Good night Gals, I just got home from work and I'm tired.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "~Today my precious Daughter Nikki would have turned...": The birthday of a daughter who has passed brings saddness to us. Posted by Anonymous to IsabellasCloset at April 28, 2008 8:43 PM

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "~Today my precious Daughter Nikki would have turned...": Ps. you need to move on... Posted by Anonymous to IsabellasCloset at April 28, 2008 8:44 PM



30 comments:

Monkey Giggles said...

My heart breaks for you. Speaking for experience you never get over or move on after the lose of a loved one. With God's grace and mercy you learn to live and laugh again but a part of you that stands still.

I will be praying.

Mary said...

A parent should never have to bury a child - and although your life GOES ON there is absolutely no reason that you should "move on" as so bluntly stated by this unkind person who hides in anonymity. I hope she apologizes to you for her thoughtless comment.

Remembering your sweet Nikki on her Birthday is special - and of course you remember her EVERY day that isn't her Birthday - that's what any caring Mother would naturally do I'm sure.

Mary dear - be thankful you have a loving spirit and that the majority of us support you in your huge unending love for a special daughter.............and take good care of yourself because you don't need stress right now.
Love and hugs - thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

Hello Dear Mary,no way of knowing who anonymous is,but I am sorry for that person ,to not have compassion and feelings for others, is a terrible thing. That person surly hasn't felt the horrible grief of having a child pass,as you have. I pray anonymous will ask your forgiveness and you in turn will find it in your heart to do so.. I believe sometimes God allows us to go through things so that we can in turn help others in like circumtances.I also believe we are judged according to how we judge others and I only pray anonymous will not need to bear the burden of a terrible loss in order to feel compassion for those who have.

May God almighty give us all,the compassion to carry one another's burdens.

Anonymous 2.......

Cherub Kisses Boutique said...

Hi Mary ~
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Dionne

Joyce said...

Oh dear Mary... I am so, so sorry for you~ I know how very hard this is for you, no matter how many years have passed. When I read your post I was so upset, I would like to know what makes people think it is ok to say these things to others? What gives you the right? It makes me sick. NO ONE has a right to tell you when, how or for HOW LONG you get to grieve!! I had some one tell me to move on, get over it, and that Steve was not coming back~ now, can you imagine saying that to someone? I admit it, when Steve died, a part of me died too, and I cannot simply move on... What I do feel sorry for are people who cannot understand it, I would never wish this kind of pain on anyone, but, I do wish everyone could know the absolute blessing of the kind of love we had... well, I have rambled on, and I am sorry, but for anyone who thinks they can say things such as anonymous said to you, I say: Walk A Mile In My Shoes~ sending love to you Mary

Pam said...

Dear Mary- I too am keeping you in thoughts and prayers.

Honest to Ya~Ya said...

I'm afraid this hit and run type of comment are part and parcel of the blog environment...sad to say!
I fully intend on erasing such rot and not even acknowledging it from now on. Be it comment or email.
Anonymous probably would not have the nerve to look into your eyes and say such things and is not even courageous enough to "own their words" by posting as themselves.
It is a true pity...there is so much love and friendship to be had here at your place!

Hugs to you today and know that you are loved here in Blogland!♥

Sharon Kay said...

Mary, so sorry for the comment made by who ever. Only if that person has walked in your shoes can they begin to understand. You have to remember all the wonderful friends you have and keep that thought in your mind. Erase the thought of those others. We do not need them or the comments. Nikki will be remembered on what would have been her 35th birthday with love by all.

Mary said...

Hello Sweet Friend. I have been reading all the sweet comments
from your TRUE Friends. Most of
us have not lost a child, but
have lost a parent or Loved one.
My friend wanted to die after her Husband death. After 4 years it is still so hard for her, she misses him every day. That is what a true loving family is like.
For some people it is easier for them to move on.
"BUT" they do Not have the right to tell any of us how too feel !!!
Just erase the comments from this person. It is sad that this person only has going from blogs saying hurtful things.
Remember Sweet Friend, Nikki was "Loved" and will always be remembered. Love Me:)

Timewornrose said...

Sweet Mary, May you remember Nikki each time you laugh or smile, each time you worry, every time you wonder and each time you cry. Her soul will never die because she lives on by you carrying her with you each step of your life. Thank you for sharing her precious short life with us.

May God warm anonymous's heart so they can start spreading love, compassion, joy and peace instead of hurt.

Alison Gibbs said...

Oh Mary. So sorry that someone left comments upsetting you.
Nikki will forever be in your heart. I lost my Mum 16 years ago and it is just like yesterday. You turn to speak to them, go to call but they're not there - your feelings and love for them will never change.
Take care.
Alison

Mary Isabella said...

I have prayed for you!!! it upsets me greatly that someone was so unkind and hurt you. I will continue to pray for you....

Jay said...

For the anonymous comment.. what a terrible thing to say.
Get over it? Spoken as a truly heartless person, or someone who has never lost someone they truly loved.
You can never fully get over something liek that, ass. It's always with you, always a part of you.
I lost my beloved little brother 10 years ago, and my father about 5 months ago. I'm not 'over' either of them.
If you're going to post such a thing on someone's blog, then have the courage to sign your name, in the least. Coward.
Don't let assholes like that dictate how you should feel, Mary. The hell with them, and the hell with anyone who thinks it's silly how you feel. You take what time you need to in this, and those who truly love you will be there to support you.

Love always,
the guy who doesn't mind hanging curtains for the girls, Jason

Jackie said...

Mary, some people just do not understand what loosing a child does to a person. Like monkey giggles says we learn to live with it, and laugh again with Gods help. Take care my friend, I will hold you and your family in my prayers.

God bless.

Jillian said...

Thank you, Mary, for your kind words and support of my new online adventure! I am excited...it is finally happening.

On another note, I'm so sorry you had a not so helpful comment from an anonymous blogger. Sometimes comments can really take a hold of us.

I started my blog back in August to help me deal with something emotional...and I'm so glad I did. Look how far it has brought me!

Keep on writing whatever you need to in your blog, regardless of what someone said. You have lots of kind friends who care!

Amy said...

I am so sorry that a thoughtless person left that comment. To me, we all grieve in our own time in our own way. I had my best friend pass away from Cystic Fibrosis in 1993 and I still miss her today :-(

FourSistersInACottage said...

AMEN and HALLELUIAH for JASON!!!!
WE LOVE YOU MARY!!!
Amy (Mom to the Four Sisters)

Amy at Bunny Rose Cottage said...

Oh Mary, I am so so sorry that someone would be so insensitive and so utterly WRONG!! What a terrible terrible thing for someone to say! How could anyone ever expect you to move on from this? I am so sorry. I am sending you tons of hugs and I want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for you loss and for this sad person who has to come along and make it even harder.

Much love and hugs to you sweetie,
Amy

Joyce said...

People are insensitive when they haven't walked in anothers shoes. Which is scary actually.....because they may need mercy and grace themselves one day.
We all "move on" at different times.....not one should shove us.
Just delete the comment Mary......

She'sSewPretty said...

Mary, As one who has lost a child, I can say after 21 years that you never move on. Your heart may be lighter at times but no one can ever fill the hole they leave behind. Hugs to you Mary! As my mother always says..."If you can't say anything nice..say nothing at all".

joan said...

Lots of hugs and prayers sent out to you Mary. I am sorry someone hurt you like this and I am so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and cares your way.

Anonymous said...

All I can say about anonymous is that he/she is an insensitive and uncaring person, and obviously not a parent. I had a friend who lost her daughter in a tragic accident years ago. She said, "you can get through it somehow, but you never get over it." Those words have stuck with me. You are in the thoughts and prayers of those around you who care.

Shab-n-Chic said...

Hello Mary,
I haven't visited your blog in so long and was sad to see this one. It amazes me how a total stranger can say such a hurtful thing to someone. It gives comfort to so many who want to remember their loved ones, and I would think something was very wrong with someone who just "moved on" after losing a loved one, especially a child. Nikki will be remembered by many & I know you are thankful for that.
Blessings to you and your family,
Nancy

bj said...

The reason I left Rate My Space is because of all the ugilness there...life is to short to put up with that kind of thing. Thankfully, blogging has been a much better experience. I am sorry you were hurt....there was absolutely no cause for it. I wish I could just go beat her up!!!!!!
hugs, bj

Stephanie said...

Dear Mary, just thinking of you this evening & wanting to hear from you. Many prayers are being said.

Love you,
Stephanie
Angelic Accents

SweetAnnee said...

All I can say is UGLY
you have moved on..but you
will always Love and Miss
Nikki
God have mercy on them
and God bless you with the Peace of Christ.
Take no notice, someone told me
why figth cancer if God wants me~~

didn't hurt me, I felt sorry for them

love ya
Deena

Julie said...

Regarding Anonymous' comment: I'm sorry that had to happen to you.

Several people post anonymously on my blog, but they let me know who they are in some fashion. I think anonymous posters are like someone behind a mask who feels she can do or say what she likes without repercussion.

Laura said...

I'm so sorry you were blind-sided by that comment. Hugs for you.

The Urban Chic said...

Oh Dear Sweet Mary, how awful for you that someone can be so evil with their tongue. They need prayers. I couldn't get here soon enough to tell you how sorry I was to read this comment and I thought of you that day because my grandfathers birthday is the same day. Brush that evil monkey off your shoulder. A much needed apology is in order. Prayers for you dear Sweet Mary, Love and Hugs, Pat

Genevieve Olsen said...

Sorry Mary that this happened to you. I cannot imagine the loss of a child and that anonymous person needs to "get over" them self! Who the hell do they think they are!!! Ack! That really irritates me! I too have recently been treated unkindly in our beloved blogland and I thought of moving out but, then I remember sweethearts like you and I guess it is just like the real world; you just have to ignore the morons and appreciate those that we hold dear!